About Erin’s Star

Erin’s Story

On Saturday, September 25, 2021, my daughter, Erin Nicole Bean gained her angel wings. She was just 3 years old.

We were in our driveway preparing to go to the park. I was buckling my 2 year old in his car seat when I realized he had a poopy diaper. I hurried inside to quickly change him, leaving my daughter playing and my 5 year old chasing our dog through the yard. I couldn't have been gone more than 3 minutes. Long enough to do a fast diaper change - when it's your 3rd kid you've got it down to a science. In that short time Erin wandered out of our yard. We live in a rural area, our neighborhood of homes scattered on 1 to 3 acre lots with large wooded parcels in between. My fear though was the water. The land is a peninsula surrounded by a river on one side and creek on the other. Our house is situated at the narrowest point. I immediately took off looking for her at our neighbors house across the street. I jumped in the creek water, frantic and knowing in my mama heart she was in trouble. Our neighbors joined the search, county and state police along with volunteer EMS from every branch assisted. We had drones and helicopters; folks grabbed paddle boards, waders and john boats. The community effort was awe-inspiring.

Unfortunately as you know it didn't end well. We found her on the opposite side, in the river. Although she pushed her boundaries, she had never wandered out of our yard before, and certainly not that fast. We didn't think she would go through the partially cleared woods behind our house, but that's all it took. About 1 acre and she saw the neighbors glistening waterfront. Erin had NO fear of the water. During our summer trips to the pool or beach she pushed her limits to see how far she could go.

Our girl was on the path to an autism diagnosis. We were on the waiting list with the best university in our area 2 hours away. We fell short of that diagnosis, but looking back she had all the signs and characteristics.

She did not talk to us or with us. She never addressed us as mommy or daddy, she pulled our hands to wherever she wanted to go. She did not have conversations or communicate her wants and needs. Yes, she talked, but only to sing songs, recite the alphabet or practice labeling and identifying objects. Autism can present itself in many ways, but the key was that she had trouble relating to others, social skills and communication.

When we were searching for her the volunteers asked "will she call out for help?" The answer, no. I knew she wouldn't respond to her name being called, she wouldn't yell help. She would cry and grunt. On more than one occasion I went through our house looking for her, calling her name with no response. I would find her in some obscure corner of a room playing with random objects that caught her attention. Even then she wouldn't turn and look at me. I had to stoop down and say Erin, mommy was looking for you. Her response would be joyful jibberish. Twice our smoke detector went off and she never flinched, budged or acted like she heard it. We know her hearing was good because she could hear the whispers of nursery rhymes and remember every detail.

She loved mud, oh boy did she love mud. Her favorite thing from infancy was to eat it, which I could never seem to get her to stop doing. I've since learned that pica is the term for the insatiable desire to eat stuff that isn't food. And while not all people who display pica behaviors are autistic, and not all autistic children experience pica, it is often a common sign on the spectrum.

We were advised by Erin's pediatrician and speech therapist to have her evaluated for autism. We knew we would be faced with challenges after the assessment. What I didn't know is that even as we waited, she was in danger of being hurt and needed protection. In hindsight, even without her formal diagnosis, we see that Erin was showing all the signs of autism. But in that chapter of our life we had not put all of the pieces together, nor aware that she was at risk for wandering and drowning. I want other families to know when your doctor provides a referral for autism evaluation start safeguarding your home and protecting them immediately. Don't wait for the diagnosis.

Drowning is the #1 cause of death for children between ages 1 to 4 years old and autistic children are 160 times more likely to die from drowning than other children. Their prevalence for wandering and affinity to the water along with the right conditions of location and secondary distractions often results in tragedy.

With the loving support of family, friends and community Erin's Star was created to educate caregivers and protect children in Southern Maryland. Part of Erin's nightly bedtime routine was to look out her window and sing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. She did not tell me goodnight or say I love you. She simply climbed into bed and held my hand as she drifted to sleep. I like to think that our muddy princess rests among the stars and her light is shining bright for all of the children in Southern Maryland and around the world.

We begin by encouraging pediatricians and childcare specialists to provide educational resources to caregivers waiting for an autism evaluation.

For families who have received the diagnosis we look forward to providing life saving GPS tracking devices that will drastically reduce the amount of time spent searching for a child.

We believe that ALL children (with or without autism) will benefit from learning how to self-rescue in the event of a water emergency. ISR teaches children water safety skills that they will take with them wherever they go. It is our hope that eventually our charity will provide self-rescue swim scholarships, but at this time Southern Maryland simply does not have enough instructors to meet the needs of our community. Therefore, Erin's Star will be providing instructor training scholarships for individuals approved by the ISR expansion team. Information about this opportunity will be coming soon on our website. To find out more visit www.isrcareers.com

Erin's Star is a 501c3 non-profit charity and all donations are tax deductible.

Please help Erin's Star shine a light on the children in Southern Maryland!